Christmas Quote by Johnny Carson Download Open image “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” — Johnny Carson ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.4 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare Christmas Time
The Post Office is very careful nowadays. When they get a package marked "Fragile," they throw it underhand. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
Buy more Scotch tape, wrapping paper, and Christmas cards than you think you'll need. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We've learned that, especially through the pandemic, the American people want to use the mail to ship packages. — Louis DeJoy Copy Share Image
The post office doesn't guarantee delivery, but it tries really hard. It's called best efforts communication. If you put two postcards in the post-box,… — Vint Cerf Copy Share Image
Call a nursing home and get the names of five people who don't often receive mail. Send each one a Christmas card and sign… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Shipping packages one at a time is not only wasteful and environmentally unsustainable, it isn't cost-effective. — Doug McMillon Copy Share Image
Christmas sits like a black hole on the calendar. Just try scheduling a meeting at work the month of December. — Andrew Shaffer Copy Share Image
Christmas cards ... are technically only junk mail from people you know. — Patricia Marx Copy Share Image
I don't like to feel like I'm some fragile package that has to be shipped by high-priority mail and handled with white gloves. — Taylor Swift Copy Share Image
I think the Postal Service has missed an opportunity to position itself to get a bigger share of the package market and has been… — Louis DeJoy Copy Share Image
In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
It's silly to have as one's sole object in life just making money, accumulating wealth. I work because I enjoy what I'm doing, and… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
From the time I was a little kid, I was always shy. Performing was when I was outgoing. So I guess I am a… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
I'm often asked, "What is your favorite moment during the 30 years you hosted [The Tonight Show]?" I really don't have just one. The… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.' — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
The good news is that the president gets another chance. The bad news is that he'll be two weeks older. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
The notion of a non-religious Christmas is ridiculous. But so is the insistence on the part of Christians that politicians and retailers carry out… — Rachel Campos-Duffy Copy Share Image
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. — Bernard Manning Copy Share Image
May you have the spirit of Christmas which is Peace, the gladness of Christmas which is Hope, and the Heart of Christmas which is… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To my future children; you will know the true meaning of Christmas just not you get gifts. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a… — Al Smith Copy Share Image
For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“I stopped keeping an eye out for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve because, when I was five, my mother told me that Santa was… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
Christmas is the only time of year where you get to experience a truly, truly indulgent potato. — CMAT Copy Share Image
Since I was 15, I have not spent a Christmas or a New Year with my family. — Toby Alderweireld Copy Share Image
Hark the herald angels sing, 'Glory to the new-born king.' Peace on earth, and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled! — Charles Wesley Copy Share Image
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