"Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are……" — Joan Rivers
"Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!"
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Joan Rivers
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245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
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I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
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We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
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Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
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A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Brooklyn Quotes
This quote is filed under Brooklyn Quotes,
one of 220 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I have some Russian friends. But probably only 10 percent. I don't hang out usually in the big Russian communities…
— Mikhail Baryshnikov
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I could do nothing but Brooklyn shows for the rest of my career, and I could die ignorant.
— Anthony Bourdain
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Scientists are people who build the Brooklyn Bridge and then buy it.
— William F. Buckley, Jr.
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I'm no Lance Armstrong, but I do use a bike to get from place to place in Manhattan, a little…
— David Byrne
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The artistic element of Manhattan has kind of moved to Brooklyn. Has it changed it? Yeah. Has it ruined it?…
— Julian Casablancas
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I rooted for the Dodgers when they were in Brooklyn.
— Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
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My net worth, that net works. Keep my shooters out in Brooklyn where the Nets work.
— Nicki Minaj
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Lacey didn't like it, even though he was born here, I understand. I mean, he was born in Brooklyn. He…
— Sydney Schanberg
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Used to ride with him to Brooklyn, Lewis and Halsey, co chocolate thai, vernon style and burn it down
— Nas
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My youngest son, who is now the drummer in my band, lives in Brooklyn. My oldest son is about to…
— Herbie Mann
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I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.
— David Beckham
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We're definitely going to get Brooklyn christened, but we don't know into which religion.
— David Beckham
See all 220 Brooklyn Quotes »