"The only reason I would have liked to……" — Jeffrey Bernard
"The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want to go, but as good as any, I suppose."
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Jeffrey Bernard
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22 Quotes by Jeffrey Bernard
Jeffrey Bernard has 22 quotes on this site.
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Oh, to me not drinking is like being dead, almost. I sit here taking endless journeys down memory lane. It…
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One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.
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They smoke cigarettes professionally. The smoke is inhaled very sharply and the teeth are bared.Then the head turns to give…
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The more necessary it becomes to stop drinking, the more impossible it becomes to stop.
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Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account,…
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A lot of girls annoy me who go to university - one girl told me she was going to Oxford…
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When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up…
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Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job…
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One of the things that goes with getting older is that one becomes more conservative - and I emphasise that…
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In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here', but only one window with the legend 'Pay…
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I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn't diagnose a decapitation.
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It's one thing to ask your bank manager for an overdraft to buy 500 begonias for the borders in Haslemere,…
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