Marriage Quote by Javier Marías
““The principal and the most common problem at the beginning of any fairly conventional marriage is that regardless of the facilities for disengagement available to the contracting parties, you traditionally experience an unpleasant sense of having arrived and, therefore, of having reached and end, or rather, that the time has come to devote yourself to something else. I know that this feeling is both pernicious and erroneous and that giving in to it or accepting it is the reason why so many promising marriages collapse no sooner have they begun. I know that what you should do is to overcome that initial feeling and , far from devoting yourself to something else, you should devote yourself to the marriage itself, as if confronted by the most important structure and task of your life, even if you're tempted to believe that the task has already been completed and the structure built.””
About This Quote
The quote warns that early marriage often feels like a completed project, leading couples to disengage, but this perception is harmful; instead, partners should continuously invest in the relationship as an ongoing, vital endeavor.
In simple terms: Early marriage can feel finished, but that’s a mistaken feeling; keep investing in it.
Key Takeaway
Treat marriage as an ongoing priority, not a finished task.
Themes
marriage
commitment
relationship dynamics
personal growth
expectations
Mood
reflective
hopeful
determined
Type
advice
philosophical
motivational
When to use this quote
- couples counseling
- first year of marriage
- renewal vows
- relationship workshops
Key Concepts
psychology
long‑term partnership
sustaining love
Questions to Reflect On
- How can couples recognize and counteract the “finished” mindset?
- What daily practices keep the marriage feeling alive?
A Different Perspective
The feeling of completion may stem from societal narratives about marriage as a milestone, which can be hard to overcome.
![“I don't like being away from home. That's one reason why I don't work as much as I used to [when I started my career], because so many things are on the road. I just don't want to be away from my husband, my dogs and my home. I don't sing that much any more because that also takes you on the road.” quote by Jane Powell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/07c/jane-powell-36243_away_i-don-t-like-being-away-from-home-that-s_278.jpg)
![“... los planes que uno se traza no son más que tentativas y pruebas, cartas que se van descubriendo y la mayoría de ellas no salen, no combinan[...] Y si pasan pasan aun uno no las quiera o no pasan aunque las anhele...” quote by Javier Marías](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/188/javier-mar-as-2874_quote_los-planes-que-uno-se-traza-no-son-m-s-q_478827.jpg)
