Funny facebook status Quote by James

“I saw a guy faint at the W. M. Keck Observatory, he stepped out from the tour group and said to me "I'm feeling…

— Steven Magee

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know…

— Tommy Cooper

One night a guy hit his head on a welding gun. He went to his knees. He was bleeding like a pig, blood was…

— Studs Terkel

I'm blessed to see another day. For something like that, with any strenuous activity, the tissue could rupture. Could have died, quite frankly. I'm…

— Jeff Green

“The container had been packed half-full of steel cylinders of some sort, each one of them in a protective wooden box with a lid.…

— Jonas Jonasson

At first I was queasy; I'll never forget the sound of the scalpel cutting a body open. But it was so cool trying to…

— Jonathan Davis

“The story was an 82 year old guy with a broken neck. He had apparently fallen in his bathroom that morning, cracking his 1st…

— Terrence Holt

“I heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Life seems harsh, and cruel. Says he feels all alone in threatening world.…

— Alan Moore

“There was death in a quarter bag of peanuts, an aspirated piece of steak, the next pack of cigarettes. He was around all the…

— Stephen King

“Ronkers was getting out of the elevator on the first floor when the intercom paged 'Dr Heart'. There was no Dr Heart at University…

— John Irving

Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert…

— Norm MacDonald

“Ms. O’Toole?” My Nextel push-to-talk vibrated at my hip. “Are you coming?” I grabbed the device and pushed the direct-connect button to shout. “What?”…

— Deborah Coonts