““EGO-BASED MARRIAGE (Disappointment and pain) • Sees marriage as a place to get . . . • Looks for ways to get satisfaction from partner. • Tries to change partner. • Views passion as more important than love. • Discontent with disappointments over unmet expectations. • Sees partner as source of happiness or cause of unhappiness. • Sees self as one to whom things happen in the marriage (victim). • Creates conflict over wants and “needs.” • Operates out of fear. • Sees unloving behavior as an occasion to go into fight or flight. • Holds grudges and complaints; keeps fears and resentments alive. • Consciously or unconsciously creates negative, deprived, or other unhappy state of mind. • Judges differences and tries to change partner to be like oneself.””
