Apology Quote by Harriet Lerner
“I'd say that while it's normal to long for an apology, if you really need it, you're not ready to speak to whoever harmed you. Non-apologizers tend to walk on a tightrope of defensiveness above a huge canyon of low self-esteem - they just can't listen to anything that's going to set them off balance. So focus on what you say for your own sake, because you need to hear your own voice telling the truth.”
About This Quote
Seeking an apology often masks deeper readiness to confront harm; focusing on self‑expression empowers personal truth and reduces defensiveness.
In simple terms: Apology isn’t always readiness for healing.
Key Takeaway
Speak your truth for self‑clarity.
Themes
self‑healing
communication
defensiveness
Mood
introspective
empathetic
Type
advice
philosophical
When to use this quote
- personal conflict
- self‑reflection
- therapy
Key Concepts
psychology
self‑awareness
Questions to Reflect On
- What does your inner voice need to hear?
- How can you protect yourself without an apology?
A Different Perspective
Apology may not resolve underlying issues.
![“Learning, and especially unlearning, can take place only in the absence of defensiveness… [W]e can drop our defenses only when we love and are loved.” quote by William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/4c4/william-sloane-coffin-4839_defensiveness_learning-and-especially-unlearning-can-t_396751.jpg)
