"Things I wonder about the FBI's list of……" — George Carlin
"Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the "Ten Most Wanted" criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, "I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list"?"
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George Carlin
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546 Quotes by George Carlin
George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is…
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Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why…
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The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set…
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it…
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then…
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The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
See all 546 quotes by George Carlin »
More Automatically Quotes
This quote is filed under Automatically Quotes,
one of 555 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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When you tell your truth, you are coming from a real place, so you are automatically a leader.
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I honestly think that it automatically hurts me if I said that I supported the war in Iraq and I…
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Branding experts believe that just because they have rethought a company's image or name, the rest of us will automatically…
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I think you should automatically donate your organs because that would turn the balance of organ donation in a huge…
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More oftentimes than not, you're automatically guilty before innocent.
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When you accept a role in a pilot, you automatically sign up for five years. You think it's scary to…
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