"If you have a legal problem, guess how……" — George Carlin
"If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?"
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George Carlin
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546 Quotes by George Carlin
George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is…
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Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why…
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The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set…
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it…
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then…
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The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
See all 546 quotes by George Carlin »
More Determine Quotes
This quote is filed under Determine Quotes,
one of 1,491 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Excellence, then, is a state concerned with choice, lying in a mean, relative to us, this being determined by reason…
— Aristotle
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The older you get, the more you realise how happenstance... has helped to determine your path through life.
— Rowan Atkinson
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No student ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him: it is the amount and…
— Charles Kendall Adams
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The awful importance of this life is that it determines eternity.
— William Barclay
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The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security…
— Dave Barry
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It is not the going out of port, but the coming in, that determines the success of a voyage.
— Henry Ward Beecher
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Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations.
— Alfred Adler
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There are two ways to extend a business. Take inventory of what you're good at and extend out from your…
— Jeff Bezos
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Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Where you live in the world should not determine whether you live in the world.
— Bono
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When we are angry or depressed in our creativity, we have misplaced our power. We have allowed someone else to…
— Julia Margaret Cameron
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After the Great Depression and after public urging, a nationwide public competition was held to determine a design for a…
— Russ Carnahan
See all 1,491 Determine Quotes »