““People often mistake tenderheartedness for indulgence, as if being kind to themselves leads to lethargy—sitting around the house all day eating bonbons and wearing muumuus and pink rollers. This is simply not true. I often hear a variation on this statement: “If I’m not intolerant of my shortcomings, how can I ever expect to change them?” And the answer is, By doing the opposite of what you think you need to do to change. By being kind to yourself.””