House Quote by Gad Elmaleh

I was so uncomfortable at a party recently when the conversation droned on about women who are constantly getting married. I was on the…

— Bette Davis

Once I cried in a restaurant because the waitress told me I couldn't eat my soup with a fork, I had to use a…

— Liam Payne

I remember the time when I met my first girlfriend. It was raining and I was walking, and all of a sudden this girl…

— Yunho

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and…

— Henny Youngman

Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed…

— Emo Philips

I was at a party feeling very shy because there were a lot of celebrities around, and I was sitting in a corner alone…

— Ritu Ghatourey

Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried…

— Erma Bombeck

I remember one time I was with my mum, she just didn't know who I was. I went to my friends house, and I…

— Judi Love

And then the time I was a clown and went to the hospital to visit the children, and I went into a room by…

— John Wayne Gacy

...went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me a naked…

— Rodney Dangerfield

The awkward moment when you feel embarrassed FOR somebody

— Anonymous

I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.

— Jack Benny