"It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction……" — Erma Bombeck
"It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice."
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Erma Bombeck
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251 Quotes by Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck has 251 quotes on this site.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a…
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not…
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if…
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it…
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met…
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the…
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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