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Eating disorder Quote by Edward Teyber

“When clients relinquish symptoms, succeed in achieving a personal goal, or make healthier choices for themselves, subsequently many will feel anxious, guilty, or depressed. That is, when clients make progress in treatment and get better, new therapists understandably are excited. But sometimes…” quote by Edward Teyber
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““When clients relinquish symptoms, succeed in achieving a personal goal, or make healthier choices for themselves, subsequently many will feel anxious, guilty, or depressed. That is, when clients make progress in treatment and get better, new therapists understandably are excited. But sometimes they will also be dismayed as they watch the client sabotage her success by gaining back unwanted weight or missing the next session after an important breakthrough and deep sharing with the therapist. Thus, loyalty and allegiance to symptoms—maladaptive behaviors originally developed to manage the “bad” or painfully frustrating aspects of parents—are not maladaptive to insecurely attached children. Such loyalty preserves “object ties,” or the connection to the “good” or loving aspects of the parent. Attachment fears of being left alone, helpless, or unwanted can be activated if clients disengage from the symptoms that represent these internalized “bad” objects (for example, if the client resolves an eating disorder or terminates a problematic relationship with a controlling/jealous partner). The goal of the interpersonal process approach is to help clients modify these early maladaptive schemas or internal working models by providing them with experiential or in vivo re-learning (that is, a “corrective emotional experience”). Through this real-life experience with the therapist, clients learn that, at least sometimes, some relationships can be different and do not have to follow the same familiar but problematic lines they have come to expect.””

Edward Teyber

About This Quote

Source Book: Interpersonal Process in Psychotherapy, Edward Teyber, 1990

Clients may feel anxiety or guilt when they improve because they lose a familiar coping symptom that once protected them from feared abandonment.

In simple terms: Improving can trigger fear of losing a safety net.

Key Takeaway

Recognize and work through the emotional loss of old coping patterns.

Themes

attachment change therapy self‑awareness

Mood

anxious hopeful reflective

Type

therapeutic psychological educational

When to use this quote

  • eating disorder recovery
  • ending a controlling relationship
  • post‑breakthrough relapse
  • therapy dropout

Key Concepts

maladaptive schemas corrective emotional experience internal working models

Questions to Reflect On

  • How can therapists safely support clients through the loss of their symptom‑based safety?
  • What new coping strategies can replace old maladaptive ones?
A Different Perspective

Progress can be destabilizing; clients may sabotage success out of fear of losing familiar emotional ties.

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