"I'd like to have sex with myself." — Eddie Izzard
"I'd like to have sex with myself."
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Eddie Izzard
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96 Quotes by Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard has 96 quotes on this site.
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If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well.…
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The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.
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I saw something in a program on something in Miami, and they were saying, "We've redecorated this building to how…
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You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get…
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Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo".…
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If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!
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You say 'erbs, and we say Herbs because there's a f*****g H in it!
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The Death Star is just full of British actors opening doors and going,Oh... I... oh... What is it Lieutenant Sebastian?…
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You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants.
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I'm working on a speed boat at the moment. Much more exciting. It'll really kick ass, give great photographs for…
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That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna…
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Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
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