““Clever Comebacks to Catcalls Situation: You are walking down the hall, and someone tells you he’s so ready for that jelly. Or you are strolling down the street and some construction worker on his lunch break says, “Come on, baby, lemme see you smile.” What can you answer? 1. Join the twenty-first century. 2. Try to imagine how little I care. 3. Have you had your brain checked? I think the warranty has run out. 4. I can’t get angry at you today. It’s Be Kind to Animals Week. 5. Didn’t I dissect you in Biology class? 6. Did you take your medication today? 7. I’ll try smiling—if you try being smarter. 8. I’m curious, did your mother raise all of her children to be sexists, or did she single you out? And some extras, for specific situations: If he says, “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy,” then you say, “If I could see you naked, I’d die laughing.” And if he says, “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?” answer, “Do not enter.” And if he calls down the street as you ignore him, “Hey, baby, don’t be rude!” reply, “I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.” And if he says, “Can I see you sometime?” say, “How about never? Is never good for you?” —written by me and Nora, after some serious Internet research.1 Approximate date: October of junior year.””
