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Absurd Quote by David Wong

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““Dave? This is John. Your pimp says bring the heroin shipment tonight, or he'll be forced to stick you. meet him where we buried the Korean whore. The one without the goatee." That was code. It meant "Come to my place as soon as you can, it's important.””

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More by David Wong

“A realization washed over her in that cold, dark space: this was how virtually all living things born on earth have died—with teeth tearing…

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“Let’s say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead…

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“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his…

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“John ducked casually across some DO NOT DUCK CASUALLY ACROSS THIS TAPE tape”

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“He made the engine growl and told the headlights to fuck the night.”

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“Marconi said, "I see you have your instruments. Can any of you sing? The old spirituals work best." John said, "I can sing." I…

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“It’s the microscopic parasite that causes malaria. Nearly half of all human deaths in recorded history have been caused by this invisible assassin. One…

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At this point two elderly security guards in parkas, the guys who normally work the front desk at the plant, asked John to step…

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“I stared at the price tags and thought, Why don’t you fucking kill yourself? I have that thought a lot, actually. Hey, did you…

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“Well, you’d better hope I am because the world was built by sociopaths, men willing to send a million innocent boys into battle to…

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There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster…

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“Around us, the disembodied human limbs were piling up, forming a circle around the fountain, fusing themselves to each other like Satan’s LEGO set.”

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When a person’s tongue is extensively wrong, it is absurd, no less than unscriptural, to say that their heart is right.

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Every sensible man, every honorable man, must hold the Christian sect in horror." "Christianity is the most ridiculous, the most absurd and bloody religion…

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It is a dangerous and fateful presumption, besides the absurd temerity that it implies, to disdain what we do not comprehend. For after you…

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I thought to myself: if it’s true that every person has a star in the sky, mine must be distant, dim, and absurd. Perhaps…

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If, indeed, a firearm were more dangerous to its possessors than to potential aggressors, would it not make sense for the government to arm…

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“You were torturing a cat," she says. "With a freaking prod." "A prod I built myself in metal shop," he says. "But of course…

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I have never heard enough classical music to be able to enjoy it; & the simple truth is, I detest it. Not mildly, but…

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“Rachel got up and did this happy little shuffle, like she was some cheerful farmer chick who'd just stepped outside to find the hick…

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The absurd duty, too often inculcated, of obeying a parent only on account of his being a parent, shackles the mind, and prepares it…

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The workman of today works every day in his life at the same tasks, and this fate is no less absurd. But it is…

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I was once part of a Christmas cabaret. I sang 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.' I tap-danced. I had a ten-gallon hat. It…

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Solitude produces originality, bold and astonishing beauty, poetry. But solitude also produces perverseness, the disproportianate, the absurd and the forbidden.

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