"There are two good reasons to put your……" — Daniel Handler
"There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there."
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Daniel Handler
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495 Quotes by Daniel Handler
Daniel Handler has 495 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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One's home is like a delicious piece of pie you order in a restaurant on a country road one cozy…
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The Long Goodbye' is one book I like to read over and over again, and it was an enormous inspiration…
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I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone.
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Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring…
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One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very…
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This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
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The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great…
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You might find it difficult to see anything but your own sadness, the way smoke can cover a landscape so…
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I like to give people novels I think they would like, on no particular occasion - just when we're in…
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The real Santa Claus is at the mall.
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Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake…
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How wrong to think I was anyone else, like thinking grass stains make you a beautiful view, like getting kissed…
See all 495 quotes by Daniel Handler »
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