Armani Quote by Craig Kilborn

Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on…

— Craig Kilborn

I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

— David Letterman

John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take the country…

— Jay Leno

There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, 'I do.'

— Craig Kilborn

They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and his second…

— Jay Leno

Lot of people wondering if John Kerry supports gay marriages. Here's a hint ... he gets $1,000 haircuts.

— Craig Kilborn

In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.' Then he…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them.

— Jay Leno

If John Kerry had a dollar for every time he bragged about serving in Vietnam - oh wait, he does.

— Ann Coulter

John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the place where…

— Jay Leno

Pictures can be devastating. Who allowed John Kerry to get himself photographed windsurfing in a flowered swimsuit? Anyone in the real world in that…

— Jack Germond

John Kerry is busy trying to raise money right now for his campaign. It was reported today that Kerry's hoping to raise $80 million…

— Conan O'Brien