Communication Quote by Charles Taylor
“We define our identity always in dialogue with, sometimes in struggle against, the things our significant others want to see in us. Even after we outgrow some of these others—our parents, for instance—and they disappear from our lives, the conversation with them continues within us as long as we live.”
About This Quote
Source Book: Sources of the Self by Charles Taylor, 1989
Identity forms through ongoing dialogue with others’ expectations, persisting internally even after those relationships fade.
In simple terms: Our sense of self is shaped by others’ views, persisting after they’re gone.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and reflect on external influences.
Themes
philosophy
psychology
identity
Mood
thoughtful
reflective
Type
philosophical
psychological
When to use this quote
- personal reflection
- therapy
- relationship counseling
Key Concepts
dialogue
self-construction
social influence
Questions to Reflect On
- Which expectations still influence you?
- How can you balance external and internal narratives?
A Different Perspective
Overemphasis on others may limit self‑determination.
![“Our personal identities are socially situated. We are where we live, eat, work, and make love. [...] Our sense of identity is in large measure conferred on us by others in the ways they treat or mistreat us, recognize or ignore us, praise us or punish us. Some people make us timid and shy; others…” quote by Philip G. Zimbardo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/130/philip-g-zimbardo-46937_identity_our-personal-identities-are-socially-sit_2665083.jpg)
![“[M]y discovering my own identity doesn't mean that I work it out in isolation, but that I negotiate it through dialogue, partly overt, partly internal, with others.” quote by Charles Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/b9c/charles-taylor-36713_communication_m-y-discovering-my-own-identity-doesn-t_2160674.jpg)
![“[E]ach of our voices has something unique to say. Not only should I not mold my life to the demands of external conformity; I can't even find the model by which to live outside myself. I can only find it within.” quote by Charles Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/84f/charles-taylor-36713_conformity_e-ach-of-our-voices-has-something-unique_2184407.jpg)
