Best Witty Facebook Status Quotes

109 Witty Facebook Status quotes by 62 unique authors

I would rather be someone's shot of whiskey than being everyone's cup of tea..! — Simi Ngr
Just because there's plenty of fish in the sea doesn't mean u have the proper equipment 2 catch a keeper~ — DeAngelo Stokes
Next time u're in front of the mirror try fixing something besides your face! — DeAngelo Stokes
God will never give us more than we can handle but most of us don't like handling what he has given us~ — DeAngelo Stokes
2 Wrongs don't make it Right but 3 Rights makes a Left~ — DeAngelo Stokes
Don't let your food get cold worrying about what's on my plate :-P~ — DeAngelo Stokes
Fellas, there is nothing more beautiful than the look of total satisfaction on a womans' face! It'sNotAllAboutU~ — DeAngelo Stokes
U're not a Dad because of what u DID, U're a Dad because of what u DO~ — DeAngelo Stokes
Ladies, stop stressing out about your figures. Men love meat, Dogs love bones~ — DeAngelo Stokes
Sometimes things have 2 fall apart 2 come 2gether~ — DeAngelo Stokes
I hate weddings. Old people would poke me saying You're next. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them,… — Hemantsmarty
As my Friend if u hear people discussing me either YOU check them or let me know. If u entertain the conversation, your fake as… — LaTruth Hampton
Welcome to Facebook: Where hoes call out hoes when they should be calling out themselves, where people claim their real when really their faker then… — Unknown Author
Sometimes, all you need is a loaded Gun and some of your favorite assholes to shoot at. — Rajdeep Sarkar
I'm not single and I'm not committed. I'm simply on reserve for the one who deserves. — Mohamad Idrus
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway. — Rick Sutter
If plan A didn't work. The alphabet has 25 more letters. Stay Cool. — Tonirose
If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot. — Green Monk
Unless your name is Google Stop acting like you know everything. — Unknown Author
Why do you still want to insinuate other people while you talk in front of the mirror? — Diana Yan Manan
Turning into a Ninja when your phone rings in another room! — Becca
That urge you get to write no one gives a shit on someones status. — Becca
Facebook wasting peoples lives since 2004 — Richie
Because when stressed is spelled backwards it becomes 'DESSERTS' — Becca
1.Morning Routine: 1. Wake Up 2. Check phone for messages 3. Check Facebook for any notifications. — Becca

Who Wrote These Witty Facebook Status Quotes

62 authors contributed a total of 109 Witty Facebook Status Quotes, led by these top contributors:

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Who Wrote These Witty Facebook Status Quotes