Waitress Quotes

114 quotes by 109 authors

My mom was a waitress, and my dad was a plumber who worked for the City of San Clemente fixing mains breaks, so not too… — Shaun White
I was starting to wonder if I was ready to be a writer, not someone who won prizes, got published and was given the time… — Ann Patchett
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there… — Andy Rooney
I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm".… — Terry Pratchett
But truth be told, I'm not as dour-looking as I would like. I'm stuck with this round, sweetie-pie face, tiny heart-shaped lips, the daintiest dimples,… — Sarah Vowell
The waitress brought me another drink. She wanted to light my hurricane lamp again. I wouldn't let her. "Can you see anything in the dark,… — Kurt Vonnegut
For the rest of my life I'll be thinking about that hamburger. I'll be sitting there at the counter, holding it in my hands with… — Richard Brautigan
I get tired of hearing it's a crummy world and that people are no damned good. What kind of talk is that? I know a… — Robert Fulghum
pulled into my convenient neighborhood fast food restaurant. I ordered shrimp salad, onion rings, and a beer. The shrimp were straight out of the freezer,… — Haruki Murakami
Olive's private view is that life depends on what she thinks of as "big bursts" and "little bursts." Big bursts are things like marriage or… — Elizabeth Strout
Look, I realize both of you could happily strangle each other across the table, but I don't think that's the most effective use of our… — Maggie Stiefvater
I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago." "Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. "Bring two!" then,… — MaryJanice Davidson
Gonzo narrows his eyes. 'How often do you clean that thing?' 'Every night,' the waitress answers. Her smile is strained. 'That's it? Do you know… — Libba Bray
I said, "I'll take the T-bone steak." A soft voice mooed, "Oh wow." And I looked up and realized The waitress was a cow. I… — Shel Silverstein
Waitress!" Hedge called. "Six double espressos, and whatever these guys want. Put it on the girl's tab. — Rick Riordan
I'll bet I'm as old as you are." "I'm older than Sanskrit." "Well, I was waitress at the Last Supper." "I'm so old I remember… — Tom Robbins
This was a dream. A very bad, bad dream, brought on by liver poisoning from too many gin and tonics. Here it was, a deal… — Jeaniene Frost
Kindle, isnâ€™t it?â€ the waitress asked. â€œI got one for Christmas, and I love it. Iâ€™m reading my way through all of Jodi Picoultâ€™s books.â€… — Stephen King
I don't care how much evidence the state presented. I've never for one moment believed he murdered that waitress. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips
The waitress had the appearance of a very old hooker who had finally found her place in life — Hunter S. Thompson

Who Wrote These Waitress Quotes

109 authors contributed a total of 114 Waitress Quotes, led by these top contributors: