Uncle Quotes

416 quotes by 326 authors

TV tends to look for the living equivalents of squeaky-clean Kens and Barbies, but with my dial I'm more like Ken's dirty old uncle. — John C. McGinley
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west. — Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved. — Rodney Dangerfield
My life's experiences, I've always had, my uncle used to call it antenna. I know what's going to happen oftentimes before it happened when it's… — Terrence Howard
You've got a problem. Part of what you own isn't yours. It belongs to Uncle Sam. May I show you how much belongs to Uncle… — Ben Feldman
My grandfather had two boys, my uncle had three boys, my dad had me and my two brothers, each of my brothers have had two… — Greg Kinnear
North Carolina right now is going apeshit in a way no state ever has. Take every crazy, angry idea your drunk, right-wing uncle mumbles at… — Bill Maher
There are 3 kinds of magic in our world. The peddling little magician magic like Uncle Andrew in 'The Magicians Newphew' where people mess around… — Douglas Gresham
I only wanted Uncle Vernon standing by his own car (a Hudson) on a clear day, I got him and the car. Ialso got a… — Lee Friedlander
Since I learned the truth in Mecca, my dearest friends have come to include all kinds -- some Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, agnostics, and even… — Malcolm X
. . . this rage - I have never forgotten it - contained every anger, every revolt I had ever felt in my life -… — Ellen Glasgow
Johnny Mercer was my father's best friend and became mine as well. And Harold Arlen, whom I would call Uncle Harry, and Harry Warren: those… — Margaret Whiting
I think one man is just as good as another so long as he's not a n*gger or a Chinaman. Uncle Will says that the… — Harry S. Truman
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at? — Margaret Smith
It reminded him of his Uncle Seamus, the notorious and poetic drunk, who would sit down at the breakfast table the morning after a bender,… — Molly O'Neill
Ralph Stanley is like an uncle to us and now that all my uncles are gone, Ralph's singing is even more precious. This album of… — Garrison Keillor
You know how everybody has that one weird creepy uncle? Well, Seth Green looks like he got raped by all of them. — Anthony Jeselnik
My uncle always said, â€˜Hurry slowly.â€™ I guess [it means] have the intensity of love but donâ€™t rush into it. Have the full feeling but… — Ed Sheeran
Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. — Peter Kay
However, the daily life of the slaves in the South, as observed by many travelers, was obscured for all time by the relentless promotion of… — Eustace Mullins

Who Wrote These Uncle Quotes

326 authors contributed a total of 416 Uncle Quotes, led by these top contributors: