My Penis Quotes

36 quotes by 18 authors

I could never make up my mind to get married so my penis decided for me. — Sigourney Weaver
I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my penis into a poodle. — Dan Whitney
If a girl calls me a pussy my penis will fuck her up, cause it's one hardcore mother fucker. — Nikhil Saluja
My penis is like a gun, when I set it to 'semi' the pussy cums 'automatic'. — Nikhil Saluja
My penis always ends up in the eye of the beholder. — Nikhil Saluja
In case you're wondering, last night I had a dream that my penis got chronically depressed and decided to commit suicide. — Nikhil Saluja
I like to make chicks laugh so hard they accidentally put my penis into their mouth. — Nikhil Saluja
My penis is an awkward leprechaun that had not gotten lucky nearly as much as it had gotten bored. — Andrea Gibson
Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it's too long. — Patience Jr Kibabatoko
My penis wants to slam dance at your vagina concert. — Green Monk
My penis no longer works anymore, I blame Wes for it's over use. — Kevin Williamson
I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself. — Dwight Schrute
My penis is black — Kevin Hart
My penis is hard so I fixed it — The Wee Wee
Wana hear a joke about my penis? oh wait, its to long. wana hear a joke about my vagina? oh wait, you'll never get it. — Abbey
At the bar: Man: what to hear a story about my penis? oh nevermind its too long. Women: hmm I was going to tell you… — Jessica
I named my penis Cybertron. Because when he transforms, you are fucked. — Unknown Author
Just because I text // talk to you, doesn't mean I wanna insert my penis in your vaginal canal. Vagina isn't hard to get on… — Unknown Author
One day I want to be walking home in a thunderstorm after a one night stand it's pouring rain, thundering and lightning, and a lightning… — Mitchell Sakundiak
I just wrote all over my penis. I can't wait to get in another argument so I can put words in your mouth. — Zach Taylor

Who Wrote These My Penis Quotes

18 authors contributed a total of 36 My Penis Quotes as follows: