My Life Unless Quotes by Jackie Mason

More Quotes by Jackie Mason

Jackie Mason has 24 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
• Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.
• By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting; in whose name; in whose strength; in whose glory? What faith,…
• On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew…
• I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.
• If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.
• I always thought music was more important than sex—then I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't…
• A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.
• Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball…
• My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.
• I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know…
• I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa…

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