Kleptomania Quotes by Ken Dodd

More Quotes by Ken Dodd

Ken Dodd has 15 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well that taught me a lesson.'
• Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
• I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months-I don't like to interrupt her.
• I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside
• If I get a hard audience they are not going to get away until they laugh. Those seven laughs a minute --…
• I had an idyllic childhood and when my parents bought me a Punch and Judy Show and a ventriloquist's dummy, I'd perform…
• Did you know that a laugh is something that comes out of a hole in your face? Anywhere else and you're in…
• Laughter is the greatest music in the world and audiences come to my shows to escape the cares of life. They don't…
• Comedy should never be over-analysed. It's either funny or it isn't. There's a subtle difference between those who say funny things and…
• Television is like a great monster, eating your gags as fast as you say them.
• I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
• My teeth are all my own. I've just finished paying for them.

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