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Invented Quotes by Mark Twain
- Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for that; it is…
- Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
- Strange a God who mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness, then invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none Himself; who frowns upon…
- Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man; he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide…
- I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.
- I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.
- The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.
- Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy,…
- Damn these human beings; if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
- I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found…
- The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try…
- It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
- Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.
- We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped…
- What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
- I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey
More Invented Quotes
- But human beings fall easily into despair, and from the very beginning we invented stories that enabled us to place our lives… — Karen Armstrong
- We worked on solving the problem of voice communications in a noisy military environment. We established military codes that are highly audible… — M H Abrams
- I will always find even the worst paintings that attempt some kind of representation better than the best invented paintings. — Balthus
- I was the shyest human ever invented, but I had a lion inside me that wouldn't shut up! — Ingrid Bergman
- I'm skeptical that the novel will be 're-invented.' — Jeff Bezos
- Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk. — Ambrose Bierce
- I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat,… — Elayne Boosler
- I re-invented my image so many times that I'm in denial that I was originally an overweight Korean woman. — David Bowie
- Truth exists; only lies are invented. — Georges Braque
- I think I've probably re-invented myself three or four times now, if that's what one calls it. — Sarah Brightman
- The stubby French painter Toulouse-Lautrec supposedly invented chocolate mousse - I find that rather hard to believe, but there you have it. — Alton Brown
- The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius. — Sid Caesar