Best Hilarious Qoutes
489 Hilarious quotes by 372 unique authors
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People say women shouldn't have long hair over a certain age, but I've never done what everyone says.
— Jane Seymour
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I have never liked Morrissey, and I still don't. I think it's hilarious, actually, what things I've heard about him, what he's really like, and…
— Robert Smith
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Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners.
— Arthur Smith
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I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them to gags.
— Arthur Smith
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In black neighborhoods, everybody appreciated comedy about real life. In the white community, fantasy was funnier. I started looking for the jokes that were equally…
— Will Smith
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Tommy Lee Jones is hilarious. I would say, if you look at the body of his work, the character he is most like is the…
— Will Smith
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A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
— Gloria Steinem
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I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.
— Jon Stewart
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I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
— Jon Stewart
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
— Billy Sunday
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Writing 'We Are Never Getting Back Together' was one of the most hilarious experiences I have ever had in the studio because it just happened…
— Taylor Swift
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Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
— James Thurber
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The best part about being alone is that you really don't have to answer to anybody. You do what you want.
— Justin Timberlake
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Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
— Lily Tomlin
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You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
— Harry S. Truman
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
— Lana Turner
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When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
— Jane Wagner
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Laurence Olivier said in an interview once that when he plays a tragedy he always aims for the funny parts, and the other way around.…
— Christopher Walken
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I always enjoy conversation more if there is some substance to it - which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me to say because…
— Joss Whedon
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Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
— Elwyn Brooks White
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Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
— Charlotte Whitton
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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
— Oscar Wilde
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
— Earl Wilson
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The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
— Natalie Wood
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
— Steven Wright
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Who Wrote These Hilarious Quotes
372 authors contributed a total of 489 Hilarious Quotes, led by these top contributors: