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Tim Vine has 42 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really…
• Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
• I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.
• Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.
• People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put…
• With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and…
• I took part in the sun-tanning Olympics – I just got bronze.
• My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him, ‘Don’t be…
• Black beauty - he's a dark horse.
• The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it.
• So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.
• If you compulsively pun you are called a paronomasiac.

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