He Calls Them Quotes by Jeff Ross

More Quotes by Jeff Ross

Jeff Ross has 40 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• South Park called...they want their everything back.
• How is it possible that Courtney Love looks worse than Kurt Cobain?
• I would vote for you for President but I'm against big government.
• Instead of running for President, why don’t you try walking on a treadmill?
• Comedy comes from pain, and no one knows that better than this woman Roseanne Barr—who was molested as a child. Uch. That…
• Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to standing up.
• I think Jersey stands alone, and because I'm from Jersey, I never make fun of where people are from. I'll make fun…
• Last time I was in Canada Celine Dion had just given birth to identical twins. Which is quite an achievement given her…
• I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm…
• When I see a good singer, I get teary-eyed. Part of it is jealousy because all comedians are frustrated rock stars. That's…
• Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on.
• Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an…

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