Best Funny Inspirational Quotes
344 Funny Inspirational quotes by 248 unique authors
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Our favorite holding period is forever.
— Warren Buffett
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Everyone told me to pass on Speed because it was a 'bus movie.'
— Sandra Bullock
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At my age flowers scare me.
— George Burns
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
— George Carlin
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The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.
— Dale Carnegie
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
— Fred Allen
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When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
— Gracie Allen
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The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
— Gilbert K. Chesterton
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You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
— Winston Churchill
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A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
— Winston Churchill
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Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
— Winston Churchill
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I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
— Woody Allen
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
— Woody Allen
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Nobody's a natural. You work hard to get good and then work to get better. It's hard to stay on top.
— Paul Coffey
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A fool flatters himself, a wise man flatters the fool.
— Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton
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I'm going to speak my mind because I have nothing to lose.
— S I Hayakawa
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The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
— H. L. Mencken
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The dumbest people I know are those who know it all.
— Malcolm Forbes
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When all think alike, then no one is thinking
— Walter Lippmann
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The key to success is not through achievement, but through enthusiasm.
— Malcolm Forbes
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Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.
— Betty White
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I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.
— Wanda Sykes
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For some strange reason, no matter where I go, the place is always called "here".
— Ashleigh Brilliant
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The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you.
— Isaac Asimov
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When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much.
— Walter Lippmann
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Who Wrote These Funny Inspirational Quotes
248 authors contributed a total of 344 Funny Inspirational Quotes, led by these top contributors: