Best Funny Inspirational Qoutes
344 Funny Inspirational quotes by 248 unique authors
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
— Groucho Marx
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Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
— Groucho Marx
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I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
— Groucho Marx
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The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
— W. Somerset Maugham
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Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
— Margaret Mead
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For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.
— H. L. Mencken
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Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.
— Roger Miller
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
— Spike Milligan
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To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.
— Baron de Montesquieu
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I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.
— Marilyn Monroe
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If you don't know how to die, don't worry; Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do…
— Michel de Montaigne
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Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.
— Conan O'Brien
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
— P.J. O'Rourke
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
— P.J. O'Rourke
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The secret of business is to know something that nobody else knows.
— Aristotle Onassis
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
— Robert Orben
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Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
— Ozzy Osbourne
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If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.
— Dolly Parton
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I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.
— George S. Patton
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Spend a lot of time talking to customers face to face. You'd be amazed how many companies don't listen to their customers.
— Ross Perot
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
— Emo Philips
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If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
— Abigail Van Buren
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I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.
— Edgar Allan Poe
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I've always dreamed of growing up to be Amy Poehler.
— Amy Poehler
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I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
— Gilda Radner
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Who Wrote These Funny Inspirational Quotes
248 authors contributed a total of 344 Funny Inspirational Quotes, led by these top contributors: