Best Comedian Quotes

484 Comedian quotes by 324 unique authors

I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in… — Chris Rock
As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian. — Shelley Berman
Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I… — Joan Rivers
Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish? — Paul Lynde
I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those… — Rodney Carrington
Sure, the comedians who swear or use scatological humor can get laughs, but they're uncomfortable laughs. — John Ratzenberger
Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I tend to bail… — Bill Bailey
There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don’t have to be weird… — Tina Fey
Once or twice I`ve been described as a light comedian. I consider this the most accurate description of my abilities I`ve ever seen. — Bing Crosby
Some comedians love their characters. I don't fall in love with mine. In fact, I get tired of them very fast. You have to be… — John Belushi
I’m a comedian who got into movies, so I don’t really think of myself as an actor. — Eddie Murphy
My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner… — Pauly Shore
I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian. — Drew Carey
Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I’ve seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of… — Greg Giraldo
Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you. — Jim Gaffigan
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn't believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice.… — Jim Carrey
I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be… — Jimmy Carr
I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian. — Brad Garrett
There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously. — Barry Humphries
I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never… — Jack Benny
All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter. — Fred Allen
You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the… — John Krasinski
When you do late-night TV, you do different jokes in the same place every night. When you're on the road as a comedian, you do… — Jay Leno
What really got my goat at MGM were comedians like The Marx Brothers who never wrote their own jokes. — Buster Keaton
A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny. — Buster Keaton

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