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- There's an old maxim that says, 'Things that work persist,' which is why there's still Cobol floating around. — Vinton Cerf
- The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. — Edsger Dijkstra
- Real programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN. — Tom Van Vleck
- COBOL unlike other languages is the most modern, because.... it has a lot of PICTURES! — Lkk