« All Christmas Humor Quotes · Tom Sims's Page
Christmas Humor Quotes by Tom Sims
More Christmas Humor Quotes
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. — George Carlin
- Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. — Johnny Carson
- I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. — Dick Gregory
- What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. — Phyllis Diller
- The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They… — Jay Leno
- I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he… — Shirley Temple
- I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. — Bernard Manning
- Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's… — Arlo Guthrie
- Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear… — Tom Sims
- Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present — Publilius Syrus
- The real Santa is... your mom and dad. — Anthony Barger
- Yesterday I decided it would be funny to cut in to a box of Christmas crackers and take out all the original… — Ryan Swain