Before You Learn How Quotes by John Oliver

More Quotes by John Oliver

John Oliver has 98 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most beautiful, talented,…
• Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
• Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News, and she only left five months ago. She has now effectively quit quitting.…
• Mr. President, no one is saying you broke any laws, we're just saying it's a little bit weird you didn't have to.
• Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
• News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
• Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord…
• Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
• Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states…
• If you’ve been here, in New York, it has been dominated by the UN General Assembly, the annual event where delegates come…
• You know that things are not going well when you lose the moral high ground to a TMZ reporter,
• One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.

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