Charity Quote by C.S. Lewis
““When two humans have lived together for many years it usually happens that each has tones of voice and expressions of face which are almost unendurably irritating to the other. Work on that. Bring fully into the consciousness of your patient that particular lift of his mother's eyebrows which he learned to dislike in the nursery, and let him think how much he dislikes it. Let him assume that she knows how annoying it is and does it to annoy - if you know your job he will not notice the immense improbability of the assumption. And, of course, never let him suspect that he has tones and looks which similarly annoy her. As he cannot see or hear himself, this easily managed.””
About This Quote
Long‑term intimacy breeds mutual irritations that are often unconscious; making them conscious lets a person manipulate perception to avoid conflict.
In simple terms: Awareness of pet peeves can be weaponized.
Key Takeaway
Spotting and reframing irritations eases relational tension.
Themes
relationships
psychology
communication
self‑awareness
manipulation
Mood
irritated
reflective
cautious
Type
advice
observation
When to use this quote
- marriage counseling
- family therapy
- roommate disputes
- long‑term partnerships
Key Concepts
projection
cognitive bias
emotional triggers
Practical Applications
- psychotherapy techniques
- conflict‑resolution training
Questions to Reflect On
- What ethical boundaries exist when altering someone's perception of another?
- How can partners address irritations without resorting to deception?
A Different Perspective
Such manipulation may erode trust and authenticity in relationships.
