Best Quote by Butterfly_Kisses

I called my wife up on the cell phone and said baby you aint gonna believe this, i go, we just hit a deer…

— Bill Engvall

Santa was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks Santa why are you removing a wheel from your auto. Santa :…

— Azgraybebly Josland

“Every muscle in his body tensed for action, adrenalin pounding through his tiny veins, he crept down the stairs, keeping to the corners (where…

— Phillip Andrew Bennett Low

The dude in red's back at the pole, Up North where everything is cold. But if he were right here tonight, He'd say 'Merry…

— Kurtis Blow

“Twas the night before Christmas—well, the late afternoon, in fact, but who could tell at the North Pole in the middle of winter—and Matthias…

— Kat Richardson

“The good news was that we’d found Santa. The bad news was that he was floating in a giant tube of clear fluid, seemingly…

— Phillip Andrew Bennett Low

Basher shook his head. "No, we climbed in through a ground-floor guest bedroom all ninja-like. Snuck up the back stairs." "Then you might be…

— Jonathan Maberry

“Q: What songs do Santa’s gnomes sing to him when he comes home freezing on Christmas night? A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!”

— Uncle Amon

“What's going on here?" Miles demanded, pushing his way past the last of the stampeding throng. "And why is Santa worshiping that elf?”

— Laura Resnick

“We were standing near the Lollipop Forest when we realized that Santa is an anagram of Satan... Overhearing the customers we would substitute the…

— David Sedaris

“This was a fun little story to write. I love writing short stories. It was actually my youngest daughter who once told me she…

— Willow Rose

“Tim collected his gifts within the metal hoop and then pestered Santa for more, investigating pockets, sticking his hands into straw, lifting the sides…

— Ron Hansen