The Hangover Quotes

34 quotes in 398 categories

• Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don't, but do me a favor: don't text me, it's gay. -Phil Wenneck
• Stu Price: [while Alan adds pepper to the roofied steak] Why are you peppering the steak? You don't know if tigers like pepper. Alan Garner:…
• Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice. -Phil Wenneck
• Mr. Chow: You gonna fuck on me? Alan Garner: Nobody's gonna fuck on you! I'm on your side! I hate Godzilla! I hate him too!…
• Doug Billings: Tracy did mention we shouldn't let him gamble. Or drink too much. Phil Wenneck: Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and…
• Stu Price: Ew! Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza? Alan Garner: Yes.
• Stu Price: Here's something I would like to remind you two of: our best friend Doug is probably face down in a ditch right now…
• Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you. -Sid Garner
• Stu Price: We don't want to call attention to ourselves! Phil Wenneck: [while driving a squad car on the sidewalk and using the loudspeaker] Attention!…
• Stu Price: Why don't we remember a God damn thing from last night? Phil Wenneck: Obviously because we had a great fucking time.
• That's my grandma's ring. She made it all the way through the holocaust with that thing. It's legit. -Stu Price
• Stu Price: We're in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is…
• Stu Price: She's got my grandmother's Holocaust ring! Alan Garner: I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.
• Phil Wenneck: The Best Little Chapel... do you know where that is? Dr. Valsh: I do, it's at the corner of get a map and…
• Listen to me, I'm gonna' tell you something. I know some sick people in my life, this guy is the craziest, wildest bastard I ever…
• Stu Price: You know, everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass, but I think he's kind of a sweetheart. Alan Garner: I think he's…
• Alan Garner: You hear that? The baby's name is Tyler. Phil Wenneck: Yeah, I thought he looked more like a Carlos too, bud.
• Oh yeah? Why dont you suck on these little Chinese nuts? -Mr. Chow
• Like you said - we all do dumb shit when we're fucked up. -Mike Tyson [to Phil]
• It's the weekend, you don't exist. -Phil Wenneck [a kid tries to ask him a question at school]

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