All Spike Milligan Quotes
- All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. All
- My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. Dad
- A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. Cure
- I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. Body
- And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be… Board
- Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. Absurd
- Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? Amusing
- I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine. Any
- Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. Conceivable
- Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order. All
- How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. Army
- I can speak Esperanto like a native. Esperanto
- I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it. Arab
- For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string. Caesar
- I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. Harry
- I'm a hero with coward's legs. Coward
- A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush Bird
- Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B? Draw
- On the Ning Nang Nong Where the Cows go Bong! And the Monkeys all say Boo! Theres a Nang Nong Ning Where the trees go… All
- I told you I was ill. (On his headstone) Funny
- General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me. All
- Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. Better
- Woman's happiness begins with her first love and ends about then Begins
- Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy. Better
- All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. All