Spike Milligan Quotes

59 quotes in 596 categories

• I told you I was sick.
• We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
• One day the "Don't Knows" will get in and then where will we be?
• It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
• My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
• Its all in the mind, you know.
• In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
• My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
• Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
• Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
• Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A
• I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
• I have got so low that I have asked to be hospitalized and for deep narcosis (sleep). I cannot stand being awake. The pain is…
• Aristocrats have heirs, the poor have children, and the rest keep dogs.
• The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.
• This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where…
• Listen, someone's screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently
• Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
• I'm Irish. We think sideways

Browse Spike Milligan Quotes by Category