Best Sloane Crosley Lines
- I got out on the street and started crying the kind of hysterical tears made justifiable only by turning off one’s cell phone, putting it… Cell
- What annoyed me was that I so often attempted to weasel out of things on purpose, it killed me to do it by accident. It… Accident
- It is my belief that people who speak of high school with a sugary fondness are bluffing away early-onset Alzheimer's. Alzheimer
- Hey there.' I cleared my throat. 'How are you?' I'm engaged!' Incidentally, this is an unacceptable answer to that question. Answer
- In my lame pescetarian defense, it's very hard to be a girl and say you won't eat something. Refuse one plate of bacon-wrapped pork rinds… Accept
- The search for one's first professional job is not unlike a magical love potion: when one wants to fall in love with the next thing… Doe
- Kids across the country have grown up accepting the idea that no one can harm your family if at least one of its adult members… Accepting
- and there's something about having an especially different name that makes it difficult to imagine what you would be like as a Jennifer. Different Name
- He also tried to block the doorway when she left him. My mother ducked under his arm, ran to her car, and drove away. I… Actual
- I do want to get married. It's a nice idea. Though I think husbands are like tattoos--you should wait until you come across something you… Across
- If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land,… Afford
- Most people don't get lucky. They get human. They get crushes. This means you irrationally mortgage what little logic you own to pay for this… Buy
- Time grabs you by the scruff of your neck and drags you forward. You get over it, of course. Everyone was right about that. One… Actually Happy
- There is one thing you know for sure, one fact that never fails to comfort you: the worst day of your life wasn't in there,… Another Person
- The nursery rhyme ends when a spider comes along and frightens Miss Muffet straight off her tuffet. I have wondered about what kind of lesson… Along
- Not all shabby is chic, just like not every porn actor is a star. Actor
- It's never good to fall in love with someone whom you'd have to stab in the eyeballs to elicit a response. Elicit
- A human being can spend only so much time outside her comfort zone before she realizes she is still tethered to it. Comfort
- Because this is the beauty of strangers: we're all just doing our best to help each other out, motivated not by karma but by a… All
- When it seems impossible that a deep connection with another person could just go away instead of changing form. It seems impossible that you will… Another Person
- I was compiling a list in my head titled 'Reasons to Get Up: You Don't Have to Leave, but You Can't Pee Here. Compiling
- Friendship is a Spackle in itself. You'll forgive your friends a lot, and if you're a woman, you'll forgive your straight male friends even more.… Day
- Every time I open the drawer, it's a trip down Memory Lane, which, if you don't turn off at the right exit, merges straight into… Down
- I hope to one day co-sign a lease with another person but, well, it doesn't plague me that I have yet to do so. Put… Another Person
- Everyone has been in a social situation where you say something and it goes unnoticed, then someone else says the same thing and everyone laughs… Amusing
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