Seth Meyers Quotes

97 quotes in 1765 categories

• I enjoy talking about politics a great deal.
• People appreciate it when you take some time to think about who will be listening to your jokes.
• My father is sort of the jokester. My dad is still the funniest guy in our family.
• The first time I had disposable income, the two things I cared most about were a television and a couch.
• Lawmakers in New Jersey are proposing a ban on Brazilian waxing. If it passes New Jersey will change its nickname to the Over-Grown Garden State.
• This week, President Obama attended what was either the G-20 summit or his high school reunion. I haven't seen old white dudes this excited to…
• After First Lady Michelle Obama was photographed in London this week wearing clothes from J. Crew, the store has been selling out of the clothes…
• Indian car maker Tata motors, has unveiled the world's cheapest car, which sells for 2000 dollars. The Tata is not the world's most attractive car,…
• Three boys in southwest Michigan, who were looking for old bottles, discovered a bone from a mammoth. So they made a bong out of that…
• A government study has found that traces of a chemical used in rocket fuel were found in samples of powdered baby formula, and could exceed…
• Suspended NFL star Michael Vick told a bankruptcy court on Friday that his time in prison has given him a chance to think and he…
• It was reported this week that a man who was proposing to his girlfriend on the Brooklyn Bridge dropped the ring, causing it to fall…
• New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg on Thursday praised the Reverend Al Sharpton calling him a 'calming influence on the city.' Wow. What are the odds…
• It has been rumored that during his first concert in London this summer, Michael Jackson's son Prince Michael the first, will make a surprise appearance…
• A man in West Virginia sank two consecutive holes-in-one this week. Said the man's wife, 'Oh, is that a lot?.'
• A New York businessman is launching a new kosher tequila in time for Cinco de Mayo. 'Finally,' said Pablo Goldberg.
• President Obama on Thursday night hosted what may be the first Seder in the White House. And, in a sign of popularity, Elijah showed up.
• A new study finds that almost one in five American 4 year olds are obese. Thanks in no small part to new Lunchables Extreme.
• Developers this week introduced the PUMA, a new two-wheeled, two-seat electric vehicle that they say is a fast, safe and clean way to show people…
• Evanger's Dog and Cat food company has released a line of kosher food for pets. In this case kosher means that all of the food…

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