All Sarah Silverman Quotes
- We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that… Feminist
- As soon as a women gets to an age where she has opinions and she's vital and she's strong, she's systematically shamed into hiding under… Age
- Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic! Believe
- If you quit being cunty, the whole world will stop being against you. Cunty
- That still feels like the most accurate description - I felt homesick, but I was home. Accurate
- Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews. Camp
- Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive. Alive
- I am diagnosed with not having enough insanely-addictive drugs coursing through my body. Addictive
- I was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the… Alone
- Women don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated Ask
- I will always try to be happy. I don’t think people really understand the value of happiness until they know what it’s like to be… Always Try
- When you’re a bed wetter there’s only one group of people you can feel better than, bed shitters, and unfortunately they’re hard to come by. Bed
- I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin. Care
- People say I'm a nice girl saying terrible things. I tend to say the opposite of what I think. You hope that the absolute power… Absolute
- Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who… Believe
- When I was 9 or 10 years old, my dad took me over to a neighboring farm to help get stuff for the meal. The… All
- I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it; I'm very Jewish. Culturally
- I really think everything is fair game. Fair
- And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal… Art
- Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there. Don T
- When God gives you AIDS - and God does give you AIDS, by the way - make lemonAIDS. Aids
- I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl. Bittersweet
- The best time to have a baby is when you're a black teenager. America
- You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time. Able
- I can't wait till Sunday, I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece... Favorite
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