Peter Griffin Quotes

37 quotes in 528 categories

• Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never…
• I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front…
• If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going stand here and take this from a pervert.
• Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
• I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for…
• Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.
• Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like…
• Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
• That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh. Don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just let me do all the work. Yeah...now feel my warm…
• Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Lois, this isn't my Batman glass.
• Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want…
• Stand perfectly still Lois, their vision is based on movement.
• Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver,…
• Yep, now here's the plan: You'll enter through the air contitioning duct here. Now there'll be an invisible laser grid three inches from the floor,…
• Hey Brian! I turned the stairs into a waterslide!
• Hey, that's fantastic, Lois! And I'll pleasure myself to your photos.
• Oh yeah? Watcha sellin'? Meth, ex, crack, dust, coke, block, crystal????? IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? I DONT THINK SO!!!!
• I'd say, 'Come again?' and I'd laugh as I said, 'Come.'
• Lois, um, go get the medical dictionary and look up "fork" and "lung."
• Hey hey, where the hell is that Peter Griffin? He told me he'd give me a hundred dollars if I took off all my clothes…

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