You may be surprised to discover you're rich, especially if you're broke. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is no 20-year period in American history when stocks lost money. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty. — P. J. O'Rourke People Copy Share Image
If you think health care is expensive now, just wait 'til it's free. — P. J. O'Rourke Care Copy Share Image
The foundation of collectivism is simple: There should be no important economic differences among people. No one should be too rich. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You can't shame or humiliate modern celebrities. What used to be called shame and humiliation is now called publicity. — P. J. O'Rourke Acceptance Copy Share Image
Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How'd they get so rich? Because they're… — P. J. O'Rourke Country Copy Share Image
What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The typical old-fashioned diet (in the nineteenth century) was so bad it almost assembled modern dieting. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Democrats hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Democrats. — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some. — P. J. O'Rourke American political system Copy Share Image
What about snipers?" I once asked someone. He said, "Oh, most of the snipers have automatic weapon. They arent very accurate. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists aren't supposed to praise things. It's a violation of work rules almost as serious as buying drinks with our own money… — P. J. O'Rourke Buying Copy Share Image
Feminism is the result of a few ignorant and literal-minded women letting the cat out of the bag about which is the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A woman should dress to attract attention. To attract the most attention, a woman should be either nude, or wearing something as… — P. J. O'Rourke Attention Copy Share Image
The difference between American parties is actually simple. Democrats are in favor of higher taxes to pay for greater spending, while Republicans… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who… — P. J. O'Rourke Burlesque Copy Share Image
I spend my days kneeling in the muck of language, feeling around for gooey verbs, nouns, and modifiers that I can squash… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I believe that Western civilization, after some disgusting glitches, has become almost civilized. I believe it is our first duty to protect… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Our earliest evidence of government, in the ruins of Babylon and Egypt, shows nothing but ziggurats and pyramids of wasted taxpayer money,… — P. J. O'Rourke Babylon Copy Share Image
The preamble to the Constitution states: "We, the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the smallest corners of life - this much… — P. J. O'Rourke Attention Copy Share Image
I have a 10 year old at home, and she is always saying, 'That's not fair.' When she says that, I say,… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
The great majority of Baghdad is a slum - a lot of it's new, but it's still slum. It's usually this concrete-block,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Health care is too expensive, so the Clinton administration is putting a high-powered coporate lawyer - Hillary - in charge of making… — P. J. O'Rourke Administration Copy Share Image
Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It's not… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We print journalists are victims of economic forces beyond our control. We were as surprised as everyone else was by the sudden… — P. J. O'Rourke Analysis Copy Share Image
I buy a tractor two years ago, and four-fifths of the tractor manual is about not tipping over, not raising the bucket… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. — P. J. O'Rourke Child Copy Share Image
Maybe the real secret to America's greatness is that we hate one another. — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. — P. J. O'Rourke Bachelors Copy Share Image
