All Norm MacDonald Quotes
- In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That's what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher… Fair
- Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money. Bunch
- This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it. Any
- Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship. Dangerous
- Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love. Enemies
- I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your… Almost Love
- I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know… Doe
- RIP Amy Winehouse. We lost a true heroin addict today. Addict
- The vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us. Advice
- I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up. Beat
- The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do. Cause
- We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation. Danger
- A lot of people think I'm difficult to work with. It's not like I really want to do that much stuff, so it doesn't really… Comedy
- When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and… Battle
- Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny. Comedy
- All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much… All
- I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals. Broadway
- I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking; I'm terrible at acting; I'm terrible… Absolutely
- I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical. Always Told
- I don't know anything about politics. I wouldn't put too much into my prediction on politics. Inspirational