I really hate when people close their curtains. Especially when I'm on a tree trying to peak in with my binoculars. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't know why people hate on drunk drivers, Women drivers are clearly more dangerous behind the wheel. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer. — Nikhil Saluja Cats Copy Share Image
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
First come first serve is irrelevant when you show up with an AK-47. — Nikhil Saluja Amendment Copy Share Image
Hey that's not fair! - A dumb bitch realizing she got bad directions to the fair. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My therapist thinks I'm a drama queen. OMG! She totally hates me! — Nikhil Saluja Drama queen Copy Share Image
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay. — Nikhil Saluja Child Copy Share Image
If you don't want me to talk about your boobs you should probably let me know. — Nikhil Saluja Boobs Copy Share Image
There is nothing like love in this world unless you experience it. — Nikhil Saluja Experience Copy Share Image
When I say go away and leave me alone, I actually mean I need you to hug me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A sneeze is like a little orgasm. Sometimes it helps to close your eyes and think about your twitter crush. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when you have a conversation planned out in your head and the other person doesn't follow the rules. — Nikhil Saluja Communication Copy Share Image
Deleting your Facebook account is a quick way to find out what people will say at your funeral. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm about to write something inspirational and I puke all over my phone and have to get a new… — Nikhil Saluja Inspiration Copy Share Image
Amazing Home Remedies: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When the heart starts functioning for someone, the brain starts malfunctioning too much. — Nikhil Saluja Brain Copy Share Image
Someone told me I should run for president. Dont you think that weve had enough boobs in the White House? — Nikhil Saluja Boobs Copy Share Image
I am only making friends so I can have something to tweet about. — Nikhil Saluja Friends Copy Share Image
Failure doesnt mean you should give up¦¦ it does mean you should try harder! — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
Every time I see a dude wearing jeans with rips at the knee, I assume the rips came from sucking a lot… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MOVIE STAR, a Hollywood resident who cannot live in the institution of marriage -- but doesn't mind frequent visits — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Fuck mornings. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't deal with sleep, sex, or beer. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If someone is mad at you and you have no idea why, that means they are crazy. Or a girl. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hug your girl, kiss her forehead, and don't let her communicate with dudes with more muscles than you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Life would be so much easier if our arms disappeared during our sleep. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If God Was A Woman… Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People wearing sunglasses in their avatar are serial killers and should be blocked. — Nikhil Saluja Killers Copy Share Image
The only thing I have learned in thirty years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I wish my real life friends were more like my followers. Especially the part where they mention me and I ignore them. — Nikhil Saluja Followers Copy Share Image
Oh, hey! I didn't even recognize you! means I saw you and tried to avoid you, but here you are. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HR Manager is a person who thinks that... a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. Don't talk to me after I've had my coffee. Don't talk to me. — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby sitter Tracy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Life is not easy and it will only become harder if all you do is complain. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies love boners cause they're always straight and to the point. — Nikhil Saluja Boners Copy Share Image
After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Happiness Copy Share Image
A nonsense chat makes sense when you are talking with someone special, — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
