When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The impact of the word SALE on a female's brain is similar to what the word BOOBS has on a male's brain.… — Nikhil Saluja Feminism Copy Share Image
The only reason women need men around the house is because we haven't made a vibrator that can kill spiders. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process that turns a female from an attraction into a distraction; — Nikhil Saluja Attraction Copy Share Image
Porn Rule: When a husband finds that his wife has been cheating on him, he is more turned on than angry. — Nikhil Saluja Cheating Copy Share Image
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go… — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Parents shouldn't tell their kids to dream big if they're stupid. Don't give them false hope. — Nikhil Saluja Child Copy Share Image
Whenever I see a Caution: slippery when wet sign I hide it somewhere, then I sit down & enjoy the show. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
When a waitress brings the food, old men look at the food while young men look at the waitress. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position. — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
I'm not the best, not the most perfect but I promise to love you with my whole heart. — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
I'm not a mind reader, so the unspoken words doesn't tell me anything at all. — Nikhil Saluja Books Copy Share Image
Girls don't try to trick me with makeup. It's a waste of both our time. — Nikhil Saluja Girls Copy Share Image
This role playing game is so weird how many followers do I have to gain to get some weapons? — Nikhil Saluja Followers Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you watch an animated movie from your childhood, and finally understand all the dirty jokes. — Nikhil Saluja Awkward moment Copy Share Image
If your girlfriend complains that she's tired of giving you blowjobs, just outsource the work to her sister. — Nikhil Saluja Girlfriend Copy Share Image
Girls over 21 have been through so much drama. All you gotta do is hold the door open for her and she… — Nikhil Saluja Girls Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Something which is called a feast -- unfortunately, sometimes the appetiser is better than the main course; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. — Nikhil Saluja Change Copy Share Image
Therapist: you should be in a mental institute Me: I'm already on Twitter — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, An event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A setback in life gives you an opportunity to cherish the glory inherent in a comeback to life. — Nikhil Saluja Comeback Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm bored, I go to a bank, yell FREEZE! and spray people with my water gun. — Nikhil Saluja Bored Copy Share Image
Ladies : Boobs are like babies; if you don't strap them properly into their carrier, they'll fall out. — Nikhil Saluja Babies Copy Share Image
Me: Your face must turn a few heads. She: And your face must turn a few stomachs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There is always an easy solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong. — Nikhil Saluja Problem Copy Share Image
I hate to watch people suffer. That's why I just shot the guy in the head after I ran him over. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Boys, Women are easy. Tell them they're pretty. Compliment some shit. Fuck them like you hate them. Easy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Diet plan: 1. Only eat in front of the mirror. 2. Don't eat ever. — Nikhil Saluja Diet Copy Share Image
Changed my name in my Ex's phone to Wrong Number because I'm a fucking genius. — Nikhil Saluja Wrong number Copy Share Image
A surprise party is a great way to show your wife how awesome you are at lying to her face. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One of the most Exciting things about Life is¦, Not knowing Whats Next.!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people . If I'm not there, I go… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Are you fucking kidding me? - Professional photographers on Instagram — Nikhil Saluja Photographers Copy Share Image
If you don't know the difference between 'than' and 'then', then you're a fucking idiot. — Nikhil Saluja Difference Copy Share Image
All women are witches, but if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will probably spare you from black… — Nikhil Saluja Black magic Copy Share Image
I'm am an expert at reading lips especially when it's not moving. — Nikhil Saluja Lips Copy Share Image
Farting in the taxi makes the driver get you to your destination the fastest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I star you, you star me, we're a happy family! -This is what I'm usually singing while starring your tweets, guys. — Nikhil Saluja Family Copy Share Image
