But in some ways, the most significant choices one makes in life are done for reasons that are not all that dramatic,… — Marya Hornbacher Choice Copy Share Image
Anorexia and bulimia seem to be getting much more common in boys, men, and women of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds; they… — Marya Hornbacher Age Copy Share Image
My god! people say. You have so much self-control! And later: My god. You're so, so sick. When people say this, they… — Marya Hornbacher Bed Copy Share Image
• This seems impossible to me. It seems biologically impossible to stay the same size, although I must. It seems one must… — Marya Hornbacher Arbitrary Copy Share Image
“When we doubt, we learn to accept that we may not ever know. When we question, we learn to accept that there… — Marya Hornbacher Doubt Copy Share Image
I developed a deep, abiding fear of jeans, which I still have. I hold my breath and shut my eyes when I… — Marya Hornbacher Abiding Copy Share Image
“Whether one believes that transformation is effected by the will of an outer force, or the willingness of an inner self, does… — Marya Hornbacher Change Copy Share Image
In her presence, I was reminded again of why I was an anoretic: fear. Of my needs, for food, for sleep, for… — Marya Hornbacher Being human Copy Share Image
“Forgetting who you are and where you are and if you're there. Getting lost in the thought that you might be imagining… — Marya Hornbacher Getting lost Copy Share Image
At times it may seem worse - harder, at least - to live through the despair of this loss without the temporary… — Marya Hornbacher Addiction Copy Share Image
“As winter went on, longer than long, we both freaked out. My mania grew to insane proportions. I sat in the study… — Marya Hornbacher Drinking tea Copy Share Image
“I didn't particularly want to live much longer than that. Life seemed rather daunting. It seems so to me even now. Life… — Marya Hornbacher Life Copy Share Image
“The reward is entrance to the “world of the Spirit,” which is to say, entrance to this world, a place at this… — Marya Hornbacher Human life Copy Share Image
I threw up again that night, half-afraid that my eyeballs would explode. But it was, by far, more important that I get… — Marya Hornbacher Afraid Copy Share Image
“There are a lot of times the heart burrows deeper, goes tunnelling into itself for reasons only the heart itself seems to… — Marya Hornbacher Addiction Copy Share Image
“So rather than running from doubt, shutting down our spirits and hearts, or reaching for quick certainty, we can use doubt as… — Marya Hornbacher Doubt Copy Share Image
I am feeling fine. I remember these words and recite them. These are the things you say when asked how you are.… — Marya Hornbacher Detachment Copy Share Image
I am often drawn to what appear at first to be 'dark' or 'difficult' subjects, but which, upon further examination, are always… — Marya Hornbacher Dark Copy Share Image
I have not lost my fascination with death. I have not become a noticeably less intense person. I have not, nor will… — Marya Hornbacher Believe Copy Share Image
My relationships with both my mother and father are good. We spent several difficult years hashing over the problems and the past,… — Marya Hornbacher Difficult Copy Share Image
We think of bulimia and anorexia as either a bizarre psychosis, or as a quirky little habit, a phase, or as a… — Marya Hornbacher Anorexia Copy Share Image
When you're teaching creative nonfiction, it helps to have written about your life in a very open way, because you can say,… — Marya Hornbacher Careful Copy Share Image
“we have few words for spiritual beyond those that refer back to a God. But not believing in a God is not… — Marya Hornbacher Religion Copy Share Image
This is the very boring part of eating disorders, the aftermath. When you eat and hate that you eat. And yet of… — Marya Hornbacher Aftermath Copy Share Image
One really ought to be afraid of self-torture. But it tempted me. It begged. The dark place that my mind was fast… — Marya Hornbacher Becoming Copy Share Image
“And so i went through the looking glass, stepped into the nether world, where up is down and food is greed, where… — Marya Hornbacher Death Copy Share Image
“For all its God language, the Twelve Step program isn’t actually an attempt at religious conversion. Really, it just tries to bring… — Marya Hornbacher Programming Copy Share Image
You will not stop. The pain is necessary, especially the pain of hunger. It reassures you that you are strong, can withstand… — Marya Hornbacher Body Copy Share Image
Were I to put myself on... one of those online dating things, I would not include in my profile that I'm regularly… — Marya Hornbacher Dating Copy Share Image
There was a time when I was unable to get out of bed because my body, its muscles eating themselves away, refused… — Marya Hornbacher Bed Copy Share Image
“Sitting out there on the porch, I laughed. How funny—to think of us turning our clocks this way and that, importantly telling… — Marya Hornbacher Laughed Copy Share Image
“As I head back up the stairs, I hear the dryer make a sound of great mechanical distress, nnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee , and I… — Marya Hornbacher Computers Copy Share Image
When you believe that you are not worthwhile in and of yourself, in the back of your mind you also begin to… — Marya Hornbacher Believe Copy Share Image
“for the purposes of my own spirituality, it is far more useful to recognize the limitations of my knowledge; to humble myself,… — Marya Hornbacher Knowledge Copy Share Image
“Every morning I watched the sun rise and read a highly religious little meditation book and tried having a conversation with God.… — Marya Hornbacher Books Copy Share Image
Somewhere in the back of my brain there exists this certainty: The body is no more than a costume, and can be… — Marya Hornbacher Alright Copy Share Image
“You begin to forget what it means to live. You forget things. You forget that you used to feel all right. You… — Marya Hornbacher Memory Copy Share Image
I have a type of bipolar that swings up and down all day long. There are significant mood swings within a day,… — Marya Hornbacher Bipolar Copy Share Image
We know we need, and so we acquire and eat and eat, past the point of bodily fullness, trying to sate a… — Marya Hornbacher Ashamed Copy Share Image
“Being here, living now, recognizing our smallness, is a spiritual practice. It allows us to be at peace with our humanity. It… — Marya Hornbacher Life Copy Share Image
