For me, the first sign of oncoming madness is that I'm unable to write. — Marya Hornbacher Firsts Copy Share Image
I wish I could find words to explain what this kind of cold is like- the cold that has somehow gotten in… — Marya Hornbacher Cold Copy Share Image
You can't teach an ear, you can't teach talent, but you can teach people who have those things not to just fly… — Marya Hornbacher Ears Copy Share Image
“I was used to sleeping with people because I endlessly found myself in identical situations where it was easier to just fuck… — Marya Hornbacher Easier Copy Share Image
“Self-knowledge is the foundation of a practical spirituality, a spirituality that ripples outward from the self into the world.” — Marya Hornbacher Identity Copy Share Image
My parents say that even as a very, very little kid, the way that I acted was dramatically different from other little… — Marya Hornbacher Different Copy Share Image
The madness is there, and will always be there. But it will keep sleeping, as long as I don't wake it up. — Marya Hornbacher Long Copy Share Image
I mean, we all know the dangers of starving, but bulimia? That can't be that bad. It's only bad when you get… — Marya Hornbacher Bulimia Copy Share Image
I have a remarkable ability to delete all better judgement from my brain when I get my head set on something. I… — Marya Hornbacher Ability Copy Share Image
“It is a visual temper tantrum. You are making an ineffective statement about this and that, a grotesque, self-defeating mockery of cultural… — Marya Hornbacher Beauty Copy Share Image
“Bear in mind you have a life to live. There is an incredible loss. There is a profound grief. And there is,… — Marya Hornbacher Death Copy Share Image
In our absence, the violet early evening light pours in the bay window, filling the still room like water poured into a… — Marya Hornbacher Absence Copy Share Image
I had a love affair with books, with characters and their words. Books kept me company. When the voices of the book… — Marya Hornbacher Affair Copy Share Image
When I returned, everything was different. Everything was calm, and I felt very clean. Everything was in order. Everything was as it… — Marya Hornbacher Business Copy Share Image
There's childhood and early onset bipolar, but it transitions in your early adulthood into something a little bit different, and extremely severe.… — Marya Hornbacher Adulthood Copy Share Image
There are women in my closet, hanging on the hangers. a different woman for each suit, each dress, each pair of shoes.… — Marya Hornbacher Bathroom Copy Share Image
The problem is that you don't just choose recovery. You have to keep choosing recovery, over and over and over again. You… — Marya Hornbacher Choices Copy Share Image
“And when, after fifteen years of bingeing, barfing, starving, needles and tubes and terror and rage, and medical crises and personal failure… — Marya Hornbacher Die young Copy Share Image
“You know those afternoons," he asks, drawing a shaking breath, "where you’re just going along, doing fine, and then afternoon comes and… — Marya Hornbacher Afternoons Copy Share Image
If I had been a different sort of person, maybe less impressionable, less intense, less fearful, less utterly dependent upon the perceptions… — Marya Hornbacher Chaos Copy Share Image
“At first it's bliss. It's drunken, heady, intoxicating. It swallows the people we were - not particuarly wonderful people, but people who… — Marya Hornbacher Bipolar disorder Copy Share Image
For a long time I believed the opposite of passion was death. I was wrong. Passion and death are implicit, one in… — Marya Hornbacher Air Copy Share Image
“The leap of faith is this: You have to believe, or at least pretend you believe until you really believe it, that… — Marya Hornbacher Addiction Copy Share Image
Madness is not what it seems. Time stops. All my life I've been obsessed with time, its motion and velocity, the way… — Marya Hornbacher Brooks Copy Share Image
“You begin to forget what it means to live. You forget things. You forget that you used to feel all right. You… — Marya Hornbacher Feeling Copy Share Image
Starvation is incredibly frightening when it finally sets in with a vengeance. And when it does,you are surprised. You hadn't meant this.… — Marya Hornbacher Doe Copy Share Image
Me and my needs were driving my mother away. Me and my needs retreated to my closet, disappeared into fairy tales. I… — Marya Hornbacher Closets Copy Share Image
“What a child knows about transformation is very little. What an adult knows, I think, is even less. Because a child at… — Marya Hornbacher Change Copy Share Image
Because I'm not, in fact, depressed, Prozac makes me manic and numb - one of the reasons I slice my arm in… — Marya Hornbacher Arms Copy Share Image
My brain sometimes departs from the agreed-upon reality, and my private reality is a very lonely place. But in the end, I'm… — Marya Hornbacher Brain Copy Share Image
My students know I have a life, they know I've written about my life. They know some detail, probably more than they… — Marya Hornbacher Details Copy Share Image
The anoretic operates under the astounding illusion that she can escape the flesh, and, by association, the realm of emotions. — Marya Hornbacher Anorexia Copy Share Image
I get absolutely shitfaced. I am shitfaced and hyper and ten years old. I am having the time of my life. — Marya Hornbacher Hyper Copy Share Image
My bones are brittle, my heart weak and erratic, my esophagus and stomach riddled with ulcers, my reproductive system shot, my immune… — Marya Hornbacher Bones Copy Share Image
But new love only lasts so long, and then you crash back into the real people you are, and from as high… — Marya Hornbacher Crash Copy Share Image
“When we believe ourselves to be alone, we have no responsibility to this world and are answerable to no one.” — Marya Hornbacher Answerable Copy Share Image
The joy is an absurd yellow tulip, popping up in my life, contradicting all the evidence that shows it should not be… — Marya Hornbacher Absurd Copy Share Image
“perhaps our purpose is, for the time being, to be human, to live on this earth and in this human community, to… — Marya Hornbacher Nature Copy Share Image
I do have faith. I don't have faith that a God exists, nor do I have faith that one does not; I… — Marya Hornbacher Billions Copy Share Image
The idea of my future simultaneously thrilled and terrified me, like standing at the lip of a very sheer cliff- I could… — Marya Hornbacher Adventure Copy Share Image
